Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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