I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
