Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize