i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
