when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There r osticjed everywhere
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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