my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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