what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
