Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
