oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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