I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize