so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
