Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
