It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
