I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
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um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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