Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize