Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
