just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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