She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
