Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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