i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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