I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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