does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
