if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
