Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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