fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
