anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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