singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
