I'm so fucking centered right now
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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