Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
