I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
