maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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