and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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