Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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