Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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