So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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