kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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