I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize