Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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