i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious