im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
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High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.