Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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