theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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