I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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