how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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