i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize