Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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