I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize