3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
