the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I love you.
Bad choice
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