I want to have your abortion
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
