Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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