Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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