how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
