Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize