I want you more than these girls want KFC
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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