i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
kristin has been a bad kristin
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
